I’ve experienced no less than 8 first days at a new school. (9 if I count that summer class at a community college.) It has made me a little cynical about fresh starts, but it has also made me really good at first days.
Being in the first day of the New Year, I picture myself on the very tip top of a green, green hill. Everything else expands out around me in a rolling landscape of swelling and declining mounds. I’m on the highest point, the hills behind me are the years past, and the hills in front are this upcoming year. From where I stand everything is small, and perfect. No blemishes, no rough patches. I know that’s not really the case but the New Year feeling makes it seem true.
I see the first day of the year like the first day of school because of the feelings I get from both me. I get a sense of excitement that something really great is going to happen. It’s almost inexplicable, but it feels like there is someone tiny is sitting on the base of my skull whispering in my ear, “It’s going to happen.” I don’t know what “It” is, but I’m looking forward to it. That excitement may ebb as the days pass, but on the first day I’m almost giddy at my future prospects.
Anyone who has gone to a new school knows that clean slate feeling. First impressions are yet to be mad. No one at the new school knows about the mishap from middle school. Girls don’t know you are the biggest blabber mouth within a 50 mile radius; boys don’t know you’re the dorkiest thing on two legs. You feel in control. The New Year clean slate isn’t as thorough as a whole new set of people, but it’s good enough. You can leave your past mistakes and shortcomings behind and move forward. Reinventing yourself seems easier now that at any other point. We all know that deep, deep down we are still the same person, and our resolutions in all likelihood will not stick, but the New Year is a time of optimism, so we let those little thoughts slide.
Lastly, there is the element of uncertainty. As many times as I’ve stepped foot into a new hallway, and as many times as we have all rung in a new year, we all feel that twinge of anxiety. What will happen? Things are set in motion but not set in stone. We know the bells will ring, and the syllabi will be handed out. We know the good times and bad times will happen. But, where will we be when that happens? Will we be invited to that party? Will there be a best friend to make? What will be the triumph, trip up, highlight or heartache, of the year?
I feel the excitement and uncertainty, and look at the possibility to reinvent myself as something that could happen on any given day, but today feels extra special. At the top of the hill, I can breathe big gulps and fill my lungs with optimism. My vision for the past is 20/20 and my vision for the future is hazy but bright. It’s a good place to be.
With that said, Happy New Year and I hope 2013 is a great one for everyone. Excuse me while I put my inner cynic away for at least a week.
1. Eat healthier
2. Write more
Share your resolutions with me!